As a parent, you don't just hear yourself saying completely ridiculous things like, "You may not take your drill to church." and "The dog does not want to wear a tutu." but you also have someone handy who is always ready to swing a hilarious zinger at you out of the blue.
Gloria: Nobody is stupid enough to do the things the Captain Jack Sparrow does.
Levi: Yeah. Captain Jack is crazy. . . and AWESOME!
Me: I'll be up late waiting for Daddy to get home from New Jersey tonight.
Lexi: Right. "Oooh. . . I'm Mommy and I'm staying up until Daddy gets home tonight. . . I'm going to knit and watch detective shows. . . yawn.. . just a few more. . zzzzzzzzzzz."
You have to admit the kid has quite a point here. I'm only up this late tonight because she put off two essays for school until tonight and she's on computer watch for underaged Facebook attempts.
Gloria: I don't want to be an actress when I grow up, Mommy. Do you know why? Do you know what they use for fake blood? Ketchup. Ew. I don't want to have to be all covered in ketchup. That's gross.
Levi: Some of my socks are yarn. The rest are from Target.
Another example of my children displaying how well they know me.
Me: (holding my hand up for a high five) Awesome!
Lexi: Mom. We don't high five anymore. We fist bump nowadays. And don't say awesome. Say, 'That's so Saturday.'"
My kids are pretty Saturday.